Geoff Steck’s

THANK GOODNESS IT’S MONDAY

TGIM #231

’TIS THE SEASON

DE-STRESS THE HOLIDAYS: STEP ONE

Who knew? I certainly didn’t. But apparently this particular stretch of the calendar — “the holidays” — grows more and more stressful every year. At least that’s what magazines, talk shows, other e-mailers, and virtually every other media outlet are proclaiming.

I thought I would have noticed. My friends and extended family represent just about every point of view that finds something to celebrate at this time of the year. So I feel as if I’ve got a stake in every camp. According to those headlines, that should be extremely stressful.

But, by and large, what we do is what I said: Celebrate!

And from my ecumenical center, I’ve always been pleased to note the many places where the varied cultural and ecclesiastical traditions overlap.

My pragmatic take is that, given our northern hemisphere orientation, much of the reason for celebrating the season has to do with the looking past the darkest, coldest part of the year to the promise of a time when days will be brighter and we can look forward to recreating ourselves anew.

Still, the nattering nabobs of negativism persist in pushing the stress factor.

I can see some connection if you’re deep in the throes of a financial setback or have concerns about loved ones in a perilous situation or such. But, by and large, I suspect that a goodly bundle of that “holiday stress” is self-created.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: You can’t wait for someone else to reduce your stress. Fortunately, effective stress management is not as hard as you may think. During the holiday season — and year ‘round — it boils down to two main steps

#1: Change the things that you can change.

#2: Accept the things you can’t change.

This TGIM spells out some Step #1 strategies for change. Next Monday we’ll tackle Step #2 acceptance skills.

Changing The Things You Can Change

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: You can do many things right now to change your mental mindset and decrease your stress. If the items on the following checklist sound familiar, you probably thought about doing them already but couldn’t or didn’t get around to it.

Don’t let “the holidays” be another excuse. Don’t delay any further. Don’t put it off until tomorrow or, worse, “next year.”  Your less stress 2009 holiday season begins now.

● Don’t expect too much. Unrealistic anticipation only breeds disappointment and more stress. Old wishful memories of holidays past are seldom historically accurate and commercially idealized representations of “perfect” celebrations are likewise difficult to achieve. Create happy future memories starting now. As expectations are reduced, every pleasant surprise becomes a bonus.

● Get healthy. Regular, vigorous exercise is one of the best things you can do for yourself year ‘round. Don’t take a holiday from that. Not only do you make your body and mind stronger, but you can work off a lot of frustration and stress in the process. And eat right, because when you’re under stress your body more quickly burns up certain vitamins and minerals.

● Learn to say “No.” Not a Bah-Humbug “No!” to everything, of course. But when your plate is already full, recognize that you can’t do it all and do it all well. Two ways to turn down too much to do: Just firmly say “No, that’s not something I can do.” Then say no more. Silence and lack of equivocation on your part will stop most further discussion cold. Or, if you can provide some useful alternative to your hands-on involvement, opt for the “No, but …” redirect. Then stand your ground.

● Manage your schedule. If you don’t, others will. Allow the extra time that everything requires in the seasonal hustle and bustle. Know in advance what part of your “regular” routine you’ll have to dispense with to fit in the additional holiday-time stuff you need or want to do. Don’t automatically accept every invitation. Don’t let every crisis become yours. Know your goals and priorities and make time to keep them.

● Don’t over manage your schedule. Relax.  Relaxation is an extremely important part of any program of stress management/reduction. Sure, it feels as if every minute has only 45-seconds during the holidays. But give yourself a break when you feel the need. (You do remember what breaks are, don’t you?) And make that break a get-away moment; get away from any place or situation where you might otherwise be put upon.

● Streamline. Why make things harder than they need to be? Simplify, condense, shorten. Be brutal in reviewing what you feel you must do. Remove needless steps. Fewer steps translates into less effort, less chance that things go wrong, less stress for you to endure.

● Look for silver linings. Look for the seasonal good in everything you do and in everyone you meet. You’ll be amazed, Ebenezer Scrooge, by how much better you feel about your added seasonal chores and duties, your family and acquaintances, and the other holiday-stressed folks you encounter. Be a seasonal ambassador of optimism and you decrease your own stress and the stress of those around you, too.

Last of all –

● Know the value of your values. If you’re celebrating this season, you should be celebrating values and traditions you think have worth; beliefs and doctrines that inform and guide your life. Honoring these by being a living example of the principles you commemorate at this time of the year should be, first and foremost, enjoyable for you and all you share the season with.

Celebrate this holiday season. Have fun. Appreciate life. Because if you’re not having fun, why bother?

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

P.S. “The changes in our life must come from the impossibility to live otherwise than according to the demands of our conscience …” Novelist and philosopher Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910) made that good-for-all-seasons observation.

P.P.S. If you’re ready now to embrace change on your way making 2010 a roaring success, the Best Year Ever Program is packed with secrets and strategies that can start you immediately on the way to where you want to be. Begin your journey HERE.

GEOFF STECK leads Alexander Publishing & Marketing, a company he formed in 1986. The core AP&M mission: To create and publish leadership, sales mastery, self-improvement and workplace skill-building resources and tools. The focus: Areas such as business communication, staff support, customer care and frontline management. Geoff also puts his corporate and entrepreneurial experience, independent perspective, and skills as a catalyst to work for other firms (ranging from multinational corporations to more modest operations), not-for-profits, and individuals who have conceived or developed programs or initiatives but are frustrated in getting them implemented.

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