Geoff Steck’s

THANK GOODNESS IT’S MONDAY

TGIM #232

’TIS THE SEASON –

DE-STRESS THE HOLIDAYS: STEP TWO

Let’s pick up where we left off last week.  Apparently this particular stretch of the calendar — “the holidays” — grows more and more stressful every year. And we agreed last week that –

You can’t wait for someone else to reduce your stress. Fortunately, effective stress management is not as hard as many folks think. During the holiday season — and year ‘round — it boils down to two main steps:

#1: Change the things that you can change.

#2: Accept the things you can’t change.

Step #1, we concluded, involves strategies such as:

Don’t let “the holidays” be another excuse. ● Don’t expect too much.

● Get healthy. ● Learn to say “No.” ● Manage your schedule.

● Don’t over manage your schedule. ● Streamline.

● Look for silver linings. ● Know the value of your values.

Now it’s time to tackle Step #2: Acceptance Skills.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Try as you might to resist change, you can’t always. You can, however, concentrate your efforts on figuring how to most effectively respond to inevitable change.

It’s an Immutable Law of Living. Certain things just aren’t going to change or be changed, no matter how hard you try.

ü  The sun will rise on another day.

ü  The tide will ebb and flow.

ü  We’ll get older.

ü  Someone you rely on will do something undesirable when it’s most critical.

ü  The last piece of holiday wrapping paper won’t cover the present.

And the inevitable outcome of continually trying to change the unchangeable only leaves you feeling defeated and stressed.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: When you can’t change the unchangeable, but you’re stuck in the circumstance, only one viable choice remains:

Accept the things you can’t change and –

Change Yourself

● Stop fighting change. To continue to struggle against the inevitable only escalates the stress factors. Instead of insisting on paddling ineffectively against the swift currents of change, “go with the flow.”

● A lot of it’s actually small stuff. I know, it’s not small in your view. But in the big scheme of things it’s likely more irritating than fatal. (See “wrapping paper” in the checklist above.) Strive for perspective.

● Don’t take it personally. Change doesn’t affect just you. Everyone has to deal with change and the effects of change – even at holiday time when seasonal stress seems piled on fast-approaching year-end pressures.

But, by and large, how “everyone” deals with change now is not your concern.  The issue is –

How do you respond? Do you deny it? Resist it? Do you become defensive? Aggressive? Hostile? Do you retreat into your shell? Do you become frustrated and angry?

Or do you –

● Take charge of your feelings? Explore them? Examine both the good as well as the bad in the change?

Accepting what can’t be changed doesn’t mean becoming a passive victim of conditions that trouble you. Yes, stop fighting the battle you realize you can’t win outright. But don’t stop responding at all to the changes going on around you.

Don’t give up and unplug entirely from your participation in the seasonal things that attract you just because some seasonal development stresses you out. Sure, your traditions may differ from those around you. Some may even seem to be in conflict.

● Adjust your attitude. Losing perspective is sometimes easy to do. After you’ve held a particular mindset for a while you begin to think of your way as the only right way. But if that’s the seasonal reason for rigidly standing your ground in the face of change, you’re destined to be snapped like a dry twig in a tornado.

● Control your feelings. Being angry about something you can do nothing to change clouds your thinking and saps your energy. It prevents you from effectively representing the views you hold near and dear.

Getting mad or showing anger and frustration is not a productive use of your time or energy. It distracts you from accomplishing the things that you can do something about.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Understand that once you recognize and accept change you cannot entirely overcome, you can use that change to your advantage.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Get a stress-busting “judo” mindset. When you see or sense a holiday-time stressor approaching, take your stance and prepare to use its own momentum to flip it safely past you.

After you become accepting and stop battling change, you can concentrate on making change work for you.

● Be the change you’d like to see. Exchange your stress and anger for a productive activity that represents the values you hold.

It’s an idea that works regardless of the time of year. And, since it’s pragmatic and ecumenical, it’s the perfect philosophy for the days ahead. Look for similarities (there are many to be found) in the celebrations observed at this winter solstice time of the year and rejoice in them.

‘Tis the season …

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

P.S. “Change has considerable psychological impact on the human mind.

To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse.

To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better.

To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.” The Wall Street Journal reported that King Whitney, Jr., President of Personnel Laboratory Inc., told that to a sales meeting in 1967.

P.P.S. If you’re ready now to embrace change on your way making 2010 a roaring success, the Best Year Ever Program is packed with secrets and strategies that can start you immediately on the way to where you want to be. Begin your journey HERE.

GEOFF STECK leads Alexander Publishing & Marketing, a company he formed in 1986. The core AP&M mission: To create and publish leadership, sales mastery, self-improvement and workplace skill-building resources and tools. The focus: Areas such as business communication, staff support, customer care and frontline management. Geoff also puts his corporate and entrepreneurial experience, independent perspective, and skills as a catalyst to work for other firms (ranging from multinational corporations to more modest operations), not-for-profits, and individuals who have conceived or developed programs or initiatives but are frustrated in getting them implemented.

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